Ok that’s actually the only rule. Instead of cluttering up the main page with fantasy baseball stuff, I’m gonna try to keep it confined to this page. (Aside from the draft results, those are totally gettin’ posted up on the main page.)

My only “pre-season” thought is that Greg Bird is getting underrated.

Rosters/Draft Dates:

Danny Espinosa’s Facial Hair – 3/26/2017 (12 tm) (#6 in pre-season power rankings as derived by the totally unbiased league commish.)

Yo Soy Gary – 3/27/2017 (8 tm)

The Assman – 3/27/2017 (12 tm)

Yeah that’s right snack attacks, two drafts overlapping. This isn’t a terrible idea or anything. (EDIT: It wasn’t so bad, but I do not recommend it.)


(As of 7/26/2017)

Danny Espinosa’s Facial Hair: 7-5-3

Yo Soy Gary: 83-89-8

The Assman: 82-85-13

Big News:

Week 1:

On Danny Espinosa’s Facial Hair, I traded Kris Bryant for Josh Donaldson and Greg Holland. I probably should have stuck with my general fantasy “Wait at least a week” rule for trades but I figured that was a lateral move at 3B and I really needed the RP help. Good news is that apparently Holland can get saves at Coors, bad news is that Donaldson re-aggravated his calf. Of course.

Yo Soy Gary did well on all batting stats and crushed all pitching stats that aren’t Ks, which is to be expected from the pitching staff I’ve got going there. No big moves except to pick up Manuel Margot.

All 4 DL slots between the above teams are used up as of 4/11, and that’s even now that Osuna has been re-activated on Yo Soy Gary.

The Assman was meh, but the first week had a lot of synced up off days. Bryce Harper is dreamy, and having him and Murphy should be pretty fun for the batting numbers.

Week 4

Danny Espinoa’s offense has been disappointingly quiet the last two weeks, leaving me with a pair of losses and a tie. Pitching has been pretty solid, though, and hopefully Donaldson is back sooner rather than later. Judge, who was my homer “Maybe he’ll hit homers” pickup has pretty much carried my team so far. If Chapman didn’t blow the Sunday save in Chicago I win that week thanks to Severino. Grrr.

Yo Soy Gary is cruising, although with Thor and Taillon out and Quintana being pretty up-and-down, my pitching isn’t as solid as I’d like. Harvey has been dropped outright for Eickhoff, and thankfully Keuchel is throwing like an ace again. I’m currently rostering 4 RPs (well, 3 with Melancon out) which is a new experience for me. I outright dropped Beltre and A-Gon, 8-team league means they’re just replaceable and I need the DL spots.

The Assman has been meh, as you can see. Just a lot of nothing doing on either side of the ball, even with Harper and Murphy. The pitching staff has been bolstered by the addition from FA of Gausman, Rodriguez, Gray and Gregerson so we’ll see how that plays out.   I’m not too concerned about the team or even really about winning that league since it’s only $20. Pride matters, though.

Week 15

Whoops, forgot to update this for all 0 people who read it.

Danny Espinosa’s Facial Hair has faltered a bit after a good win streak, but things look like they may be picking up again. I am tempted to make a (probably) regrettable trade to try and get over the top (gotta bolster SS and maybe 3B) but overall I think the team is still solid as hell, with a currently 3rd place spot to back that up.

Yo Soy Gary is floundering hard, in 5th place (out of 8 teams). I made some hasty moves at the beginning of the season and some have not panned out at all (dropping Cutch being the biggest one) and the pitching staff has been on the DL seemingly more than they’ve been healthy. There’s not a ton to be done on the pitching side, and I think the overall roster is better than the results, so hopefully I can make a jump in the coming weeks.

The Assman is whatever. I want to say I don’t understand how the team is in 8th place, but then I remember the pitching staff. And dropping Contreras in favor of Lucroy as full-time C was…not smart. I was able to add Clevinger, but Hand is my only closer right now. I may be able to pull into a respectable position by the end of the season, but I don’t see the money happening at all here.


Turns out I was right that nobody was going anywhere. Danny Espinosa’s Facial Hair got into the postseason with a 5 seed, but was eliminated after tying in the first round. I’m kind of proud/impressed it even came to a tie though, boy did I limp into the finals.

Yo Soy Gary never recovered, and The Assman continued to flail and do nothing, with the injury to Harper just putting a nail in the coffin there. Fantasy baseball is actually bad and dumb, everybody.

Hey at least the Yankees are doing well!